This blog is a continuation of my discussion about the dynamics of family incest. As we found out from what I wrote in Part 1, although the oldest daughter has borne the brunt of meeting her father’s cravings for intimacy, her younger brother and sister have also suffered. Even though the father has become skillful in practicing his molestation techniques out-of-sight, it is nearly impossible for accidental sightings of wrongdoing not to occur.
The son will sooner or later inadvertently watch one of his father’s grooming sessions with his older sister. If that happens at a young enough age when he is forming his own identity, the son may be so titillated by the behavior he sees, he may begin to act out his pre-pubertal sexual needs with his younger sister. (For more information sibling incest which is very common, read Sibling Incest.
To keep his son under control, the father many times resorts to physical force. Abusing his son in this manner creates enormous feelings of rage and impotency within the son for not being able to protect himself. This type of behavior is also consistently reinforced by the media that it is natural for men to hit someone to address a frustrating problem. Thus, the son may grow to imitate his father’s behavior with his younger sister and when he has his own family. The younger sister is left to deal with her shame, self-hate and guilt on her own.
The cardinal rule within an incestuous family is that everything will be all right as long as the family keeps the abuse a secret. The reality is that the children have been conditioned to “keep their mouths shut or else,” the mother has become the silent partner to the physical, emotional, and sexual abuse of her children, and the father believes his actions are misunderstood by society, so his acts need to be done in secret.
Society plays a part in perpetrating incest by unofficially condoning one set of rules for behavior outside the home and another for inside the home. When molestation, rape, and beatings against someone occurs inside the home, it is a private “family matter.”
Society, then, is just as much a silent partner to these crimes as the mother or other caretakers.
 Patricia W. Crigler, Insight in the Military Family, in Kaslow et al, The Military Family, pp. 98-124