Here are three more comments from survivors that I think we can all identify with.
Survivor #29: To accept that we did everything we could to survive is an incredibly difficult step to take. For myself, my brain tells me that I did what I needed to do and that it wasn’t my fault. I am safe now, but my emotions can’t seem to catch up with my brain. My abuse used to come in the form of using cocaine, but now-a-days, I periodically use my daughter’s Ritalin which is a more legitimate form of speed. It’s been hard trying to control myself, but I am working on it. I am trying to fake the fact that I believe that I can do it. I figure if I take it long enough, then maybe it will come true.
Survivor #30: I don’t trust any of my family or friends with the information of what happened. I tried telling a friend when I was young, and she didn’t believe me. Of course, I realize now that I should have told an adult, but I couldn’t. Now, I’m in therapy, but I still can’t tell anyone. I don’t want to deal with others who I have to see on a daily basis. The abuser was the teen son of a family friend who my family is still in contact with. I don’t really trust anyone with the information.
Survivor #31: My fear isn’t the shaky kind; it’s inherent. I was violated sexually as a child by my father before preschool until age 10 when I had to be taken to a doctor. I am 44-years-old now, and I have not been able to maintain a relationship. I can’t. I am employed. I hate what I do. I am educated. I write. I am trapped. I fail in interviews (for a job I might enjoy). I can’t connect. Or, I have a dog. I can connect with her.