We Are Survivors 

This blog is dedicated to the tens of millions of adult survivors of child abuse and neglect who get up every day and try to work and function in a world that seems to not care about us.

Sex Education in Schools

Back in 1959 when I was in the 6th grade, I sat through a health class where they talked about girls’ menstrual cycles. What they didn’t know was that I had been sexually molested by my father during the previous eight years. I am sure that same scenario is still playing out today in schools all over America.

Impact of Educator Sexual Misconduct

The childhood targets of an educator’s sexual misconduct report that they suffer emotional, educational, and developmental or health effects.1 These behaviors affect academic achievement in the following ways:

Youth Violence and Mental Disorders

Most violent behavior begins in the second decade of life. Adolescence is a time of great change and vulnerability, which can include an increase in the frequency and means of expression of violence and other risky behaviors. Serious violence begins mostly between the ages of 12 and 20. The peak age of onset is 16. Violent youths commit a remarkably high number of crimes. These young people (both male and female) average 15.6 rapes, robberies, aggravated assaults, or some combination of these crimes over a 16-year period.

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Monday, 12 December 2016 15:07

Cost of Protecting Children

Since the cost of making sure children are attended to properly is hardly ever discussed openly, I thought it would help to shed some light on this. Federal, state, and local legislatures preside over the allocation of hundreds of billions of tax dollars every year because of abusive parenting. We don’t talk openly in America about the tens of millions of children being abused each year, and we certainly don’t talk about what it costs us. So, I am providing a glimpse of what goes on in legislatures all over this country every year.

Narcissistic Parents Are Harmful To Children

Did you grow up with a narcissistic parent? Both my mother and father were and, unfortunately, I was the brunt of their angry and selfish behaviors. Narcissists have an inordinate fascination with themselves. They would rather risk the loss of true relationships than reveal a chink in their fragile egos.

Need to Improve Parenting Skills

Improved parenting practices and the family environment is the most effective and enduring strategy for reducing juvenile delinquency and associated behavioral and emotional problems. Two family characteristics that are consistently found to impact developmental pathways to delinquency are poor family attachment and poor parenting behavior.

Recent comment in this post
Why do you not include parent-child incest? It's even worse. I think that item 5 should have ended with the word 'discord' and tha... Read More
Saturday, 01 February 2014 12:50

The Teaching of Violence

When parents demean and strike each other or their children, when children are encouraged to be bullies or fight back on the playground, when children have easy access to real or toy guns or other weapons, violence is being taught.1 When stereotypes and prejudice frame interactions with people who are different from ourselves, the scene is set for violence.

Sexual Coercion Versus Affectionate Behavior

The issue of how sexual coercion operates in the lives of women and girls has received relatively little attention from the family planning and reproductive health practitioners and researchers.

Family Strengthening to Stop Abuse

There is a cultural belief in America that parents have the right to raise their children without any training, oversight or accountability. That is the very reason child abuse and neglect has been part of our country’s heritage from the very beginning. Children are at the total mercy of inexperienced parents, and for many reasons, they become the scapegoats for the ills of the family. I know because I was. And I ended up paying a terrible price for my parents’ behavior.

Men Stopping Violence

Since far too many assaults are perpetrated by men against women, children, and other men, when will men start taking a stand against violence? I watched my father beat my brother. My father was beaten himself by his father when he didn’t obey his parent’s wishes.

Licensing Parents

There is an old Native American story about two women sitting on a river bank watching dead babies floating downstream. They decided instead of just pointing out to others what they had seen, they would go upstream to stop whoever was killing the babies. This story is a perfect description of what needs to be done to protect America’s children from incompetent and dangerous parents.

Family Dynamics In Incestuous Homes

When children are not taught healthy self-management skills, proper boundary management, how to get their needs met in a healthy way, how to think independently and make valid interpretations about what is happening to them, or how to express their emotions in a healthy way, they many times develop dysfunctional coping skills which they carry forward into their adult lives.

Adult Survivors' Attachment Styles

Children are born with needs and feelings. Infants develop internal models from day one as to how they feel about themselves and how they view other people’s behaviors. Depending upon how they are cared for when they cry or need attention, they develop basic beliefs about themselves as to whether they are lovable or unlovable, and if they deserve punishment, how helpless they believe they are, and if they can really get their needs met by other people. Depending upon the degree of how much they are either attracted to, or want to avoid being with, their caretakers impacts their ability to maintain meaningful relationships later on in their life.

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