We Are Survivors 

This blog is dedicated to the tens of millions of adult survivors of child abuse and neglect who get up every day and try to work and function in a world that seems to not care about us.

We Are Survivors

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Posted by on in Abuse and Neglect

Child prostitution is another difficult result of child abuse, but it needs to be discussed. General psychological and emotional problems, housing instability, substance abuse, educational and vocational failure, and major problems at home have all been cited as common precipitating factors in the lives of prostituted children. The homes children run away from are often marked by emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, neglect, and regular violence between the parents.

I have shown throughout this series documented, scientific research of reported incidents of multiple personalities, the causes, and the need for effective therapy. As a child abuse survivor, I had about 20 personalities/alters that I integrated into one during 11 of my 23 years in therapy. Thank God, I had a trauma therapist who knew what she was doing.

Child victims of physical or sexual abuse very often have complicated histories of multiple victimization and trauma, and exhibit a variety of disorders, problems, and difficulties that may or may not be the direct result of abuse. Although the following list of treatment guidelines pertains to children in treatment for abuse,[1]it is helpful for adults as well. Some of the work that needs to be done in therapy is described below such as:

Posted by on in Brick Wall of Denial

Millions of adult survivors of child abuse and neglect isolate because of society’s refusal to lend support when they finally have enough courage to tell someone about their past trauma. After being brainwashed as young children that they were the cause of their own abuse and that if they said anything, they would endure more harm, adult survivors are usually left with the need to summon up enormous courage, if they want to confront their abuser’s criminal acts, with little or no support from the public. It is an almost impossible task, so many never reach that level of defiance.

Posted by on in Abuse and Neglect
There is always a discussion about men who offend but very little about women offenders. Between the early 1970s and the year 2000, the number of women in prison doubled from about 3% of the prison population to about 6.3% of the total. Women in this study[1] accounted for about 14% of violent offenders, and more than ¼ of them were juveniles.

Most often, women offender’s pathways to crime are rooted in past trauma associated with family and intimate violence. This study found that nearly 60% of women in state prisons had been physically and sexually abused. Although men also experience traumas at early ages, the emotional dynamics and behavior present themselves differently in adulthood—men often become perpetrators and women remain victims or are in dependent roles with continued abuse. In a study conducted among violent women offenders at New York’s Bedford Hills Correctional Facility, nearly 60% were sexually molested as children.

Posted by on in Healing

I had never heard of a “safe place” until I was in therapy. After my memories about the awful circumstances I grew up in came forward, I realized how unsafe I felt. In fact, I used to tell my therapist, “I’m afraid of most people.” That was only natural after the amount of trauma I endured at the hands of my parents, but it took me a very long time to come to grips with that. In fact, I was 50-years-old before I stopped feeling the threat of being psychologically annihilated if I stood up for myself, and I was 55-years-old before I stopped seeing the world through the eyes of a traumatized child.

In my blog, Dissociative Disorders - Part 17, I wrote about Paul McHugh’s support of Catholic priests who had been charged with pedophilia. Now I want to address Elizabeth Loftus’ role as well. In Dissociative Disorders - Part 10, I wrote about her studies validating repressed memories. With her support of the False Memory Syndrome Foundation (FMSF) and lucrative payments defending Catholic priests, she apparently reversed what she stated in her earlier research about the validity of repressed memories.

There are three related assumptions that still serve as the basis for much policy and practice in the criminal justice system.[1] The first assumption is that maltreatment of children and violence against women are completely separate phenomena. The second is that children who witness violence are not significantly affected by it. The third is that the non-abusive parent in a domestic violence situation (the mother in 95% of cases) should be held accountable for the actions of the abuser.

During the 1970s and 1980s, child abuse prevention programs were developed for school systems. They were primarily aimed at teaching children how to possibly avoid abuse not realizing they were attempting to pit small children against powerful, manipulative child molestersHas any of this work over the last 40+ years? NO. The rate of child abuse has not dropped considerably. America has no real grasp of the number of children being abused because most children, and adult survivors of child abuse, never tell anyone. The only statistics available are for those children who are reported to Child Protective Services which is the tip of the iceberg.

Posted by on in Abuse and Neglect

A report was made public recently that addressed the response of Bob Jones University (“BJU”) to disclosures by its students of sexual abuse.  BJU is a Christian educational institution that currently enrolls about 3,000 students in various undergraduate and graduate programs.  In response to national media reports of BJU’s mishandling of sexual abuse complaints, the school hired GRACE (“Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment”), an organization whose mission is to empower the Christian community to address the sin of childhood sexual abuse, as an independent ombudsman to review and report on BJU’s practices and policies regarding sexual abuse disclosures. 

Posted by on in Healing

Once a person is victimized as a young child, particularly if they do not get any type of help to heal from their abuse, they are susceptible as adults to being revictimized. When someone suffers from trauma that hasn’t healed, reactions from the old wounds can affect their adult lives in a variety of ways, everything from substance abuse, binge eating, dissociation, having flashbacks, not having healthy boundaries, and feeling suicidal. All of these manifestations due to being abused as a child work toward destabilizing survivors and leaves them open to further abuse in their adult lives.

The relationship between girls being abused and their involvement in crime later in life was studied by the National Institute of Justice.[1] It found that when compared with girls who have not been abused and neglected during childhoodabused and neglected girls are:

A task force conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)[1] found substantial support for the use of early childhood home visitation for the prevention of child abuse. It found that home visitations by trained personnel play an effective role in the reduction of child maltreatment. The task force recommends home visits be considered for families at risk for abusing children. Studies reviewed by the group suggest that approximately 40% of maltreatment episodes might be prevented through programs of early childhood home visits.

Some major work began to appear in the physical (versus mental) medical field that provided more evidence in the brain’s ability to suppress memories. This is important in the area of child abuse. Remember, researchers in the psychiatric field have been stating this for over 100 years. Another article shown below addresses this issue.

Barriers to reporting child abuse or neglect (CA/N) most often cited by respondents in a Kentucky study (2006) were an uncertainty that reporting would help the child, fear that reporting will make it worse for the child, a loss of relationship with the family, inconsistent response (by the system) to previous reports, unfamiliarity with social workers, and risk of medical malpractice.1

There is a significant lack of education and training in the medical field when it comes to education and training about child abuse or neglect (CA/N). There is no specific percentage requirement for continuing education units (CEUs) in the area of CA/N.1

Too often medical professionals and service agencies do not report child abuse and neglect to authorities for a multitude of reasons. The State of Oregon has been very progressive, though, in identifying areas of concern and steps that need to be taken to address this enormous problem.

Posted by on in Legal Issues

What do cases involving domestic violence, sexual assault, and childhood sexual abuse all have in common?  The multi-faceted answer sheds a needed light on the lack of a coherent societal response to each of these despicable acts.  To start, society first needs to recognize that these acts constitute major crimes and must be addressed as such.  Regrettably, there is growing evidence that our legal institutions marginalize these crimes and fail to respond to them with the level of seriousness they warrant. 

Children who have been sexually abused and placed in foster care or are adopted need rules to help provide structure, comfort and security. Experts in the field of adoption and child sexual abuse believe the guidelines listed below will help the child to build trust with their new family.1

Recent Comments - Show all comments
  • Diane says #
    I am very happy that you have connected with someone who really understands the issues. Yes, I have received your book but have no
  • Cohen says #
    Hello Diane. I just want to know if the book I mailed to you arrived. I had another nice experience today. As you know, I've beem
  • Diane says #
    Sad to say, your niece and nephew are typical of a large number of families. The abused and neglected children fight back many tim
  • Cohen says #
    I'll definitely read your autobiography and send a copy of my book to you. Just so you're not confused when you get it, I used a
  • Diane says #
    Thank you for your insights and feedback. Sadly, most people working with abused children or adults are not trauma-trained or even
  • Cohen says #
    I've been browsing the internet trying to identify people and groups who might be interested in a novel my publisher released this

The family is the primary vehicle to socialize children about what is appropriate behavior within a family and society. Since it is critical for children to feel they are connected to the significant people in their lives, they usually conform and accept the family’s rules. In abusive households, family members many times have to sacrifice what is needed for healthy functioning to survive their living environment.

Recent Comments - Show all comments
  • Mars Tin says #
    Really sorry to hear that. However, very happy to learn you will keep on sharing your insight. Also, no virus can undo what your b
  • Diane says #
    Thanks for staying in touch. The reason there has not been any blogs lately is that a little over a month ago, someone infected my
  • Mars Tin says #
    The problem in a nutshell, isn't it? I can see there have been many changes since my last visit a few years back, and congratulat